JESUS. Children. Family, Friends, & a mail box =)

   JESUS all for JESUS. really? Am I willing to lay all down for HIM? All meaning... my life, my reputation, my pride, what others think & say about me,  my family, my many dear friends, the precious children I care for, and the list goes on.  I say it's worth the cost, yet when it comes down to it I realize how attached I am to things that aren't even mine to claim. Some of them shouldn't even be in my life at all. Yet I hold onto my tattered rags of righteousness trying so hard to hide my sin. To cover up my shame. Jesus stands there waiting with eyes full of love, arms open waiting for me to just come. To trade my rags for His righteousness, my fear for His perfect love, my pride for His humility, my doubts for a child like faith in Him, my weakness for His strength, my trying to live under the law for His all sufficient grace, my independence to a complete trust in HIM.  So simple, yet so many times I forget. I'm so thankful He's still working on me.  Like the song goes... There really ought to be a sign upon my heart... all of our hearts for that matter. Don't judge me yet [or ever] there's an unfinished part...

              being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Phillippians 1:6

       Maybe some of y'all are wondering what I've been up to these days... Well learning more of who Jesus is, spending time caring for 4 precious children of one family, & for a dear lil boy of another family who has completely stolen my heart with his big grin  & the cutest laugh. So yes most days you'll find me with children, my family, [who I'm so thankful to have this time with]
This dear sis of mine has entered her 20's last month :) say what? 

 & of couse the amazing friends, God has blessed me with near & far.   Also God working in mysterious ways has led my heart to an outreach Church here in town. So I'm spending my Sundays worshiping God with my brothers & sisters in Christ who come from all different walks of life, of whom are not from the same Church upbringing as mine.  I wouldn't have chosen this path, or this part of my story, but God has used it to teach me many things. Things I never would have realized I had believed that were lies. Things that I'm still wrestling with to comprehend. I searched [search] the Scriptures in ways like never before. What does GOD's Word really say? I've often felt like the Apostle Peter in the last few months except that I've had one foot in the boat & one foot on the water. Meanwhile Jesus has been there patiently waiting & saying "Come". You see I have to trust Him in ways like never before these days. "Walking on water" is something I've not done before. All this to say, I am grateful for my upbringing & for the things God has taught me while in the culture I grew up in.  I'm "relearning".. it's who we are in Christ that matters, the work that He's done in our hearts... & if you don't know Him I pray that today you'll come to believe Jesus. His gift of love & salvation truly is the best gift of all!!
     Now onto the mailbox part... so on the last day of last month I met one of my dear new friends at Dunkin Donuts. We had a wonderful time sharing what God has done & pieces of our life story. Before we knew it 3 hours had went by!! She so sweetly agreed to drop me off at my house. On her way out our driveway, her vehicle met our mailbox. The vehicle won & our mailbox though still fine [no worries her vehicle was too =] was knocked off it's "feet."[post] It brought some concern & lots of  laughter. After all, "it's just a mailbox."  Later that day we were texting and I seriously hadn't laughed that hard in a long time. The one that really got me was: "Oh noo what if your mailbox gets post traumatic stress disorder..." I laughed so hard the tears came into my eyes. That night I thanked God for our knocked over mailbox. :)

 It got to rest for a few days on our porch :)

Cookies & more cookies... So my good friend Sam and I have been baking up "a storm" these past few weeks. We've been selling Christmas cookies for her trip to IGO & my trip to CO. [more info on that trip in next paragraph] So you're welcome to come to Weaver's Store in Fivepointville on Thurs. the 22nd in between 9a.m.-1p.m. and buy some of this yumminess. 

          Oh yeah one more thing.. Lord willing I'll be going to Ellerslie Discipleship Training  www.ellerslie.com  [ in CO] in February and will be there til May.
        Well I'll close for now & hope I didn't "bore" you to tears, Blessings as you share the Good News of Jesus wherever you are & keep on letting your little light Shine!
                               In His hands, Rhonda

Fears colliding with Faith.

When LIFE is..
          good & bad
          happy & hard
          amazing & awful
all at the same time. There's so many things to thank and praise GOD for, yet there's a piece of my heart that's not there and it just HURTS. When the future lies uncertain, so many unanswered questions, so much unknown, so much change, and I'm waiting for the path God has for me to become clear. Right now it feels like I'm just waiting to see what He's going to do and my fears keep colliding with my faith.
   I look at the world around me & it just seems and looks so empty. Yet I know that GOD is still at work! No matter where I am, how I'm feeling, there's some things that don't change and the important things remain the same. =) GOD matters. Loving Him and loving others unconditionally matters. Relationships matter. Children matter. Yet that's so easy to forget. It's so easy to put my focus and concern on things that are nothing in light of eternity. Oh may my heart be sealed for HIS courts above.
      When I see God work despite of my messiness. When He continues to send people into my life who care, who listen, who lead me back to Him. It's overwhelming and some days to be honest I'm just not sure what to do with it all. :) Guess I need to continue to ask God to help me with learning how to receive from Him, to just be thankful, to accept and be okay with not trying to earn what has been freely given to me. So many things to learn (or to learn in a deeper way) It's in these times that I'm so thankful for a patient & loving Heavenly Father who's still working on me. [hallelu!]
                   
                                                       

learning to walk by faith one day at a time, God's PA girl :)

I'm not better than anyone. Anyone is not better than me.

  If you would have asked me awhile ago, if I believed that I thought I was better than other people I probably would have told you "no."  Not knowing the hidden lies I believed.
  
    "But if ye have respect to persons, ye commit sin, and are convinced of the law as transgressors." James 3:9

     "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:28

    God's been hammering those words into my heart, and opening my eyes to see how much of respecting of persons I've been doing. He's been revealing to me the awfulness of the judgmental spirit I had buried deep within. Unknowingly, even though I never meant it & usually didn't feel that way, I somehow still thought that I was "a little bit better" because of the way I was raised. That the Mennonite Culture I grew up most of my life in, somehow made me special. That the bubble I was living in somehow made me "holier". That my brothers & sisters in Christ outside of what I knew as "right" were somehow missing out or may I dare say it, not as righteous. I was wrong. So WRONG. Maybe just maybe I've missed out on living by faith, because I've been saturated in a "work hard, provide for yourself culture" maybe I don't really know what it means to live in God's grace because my filter system is tainted with legalism instead of the power of the Gospel. Or that my self-righteousness has left me living in filthy rags, when JESUS already has made me clean & longs to clothe me with His righteousness. That just because people around me have higher or lower standards than me, that doesn't make them any less or any more valuable. Or that my acceptance of them should depend on their outward appearance or actions. [wrong again]   

     Also how I've let the fear of man hold me back from living my life for God alone. Once I stop caring about what others think, or if their opinions of me may change because of the choices I make while doing what I sense is what God is asking/leading me to do, than I can live in the freedom of who He says I am. Than I can follow Him with my whole heart, because in the end it's only His will being done in my life & bringing Him glory that matters. [not performing for those around me] I think I'm slowly learning, that when I stop being a worrier and start being a worshiper of the One who gives me life, there's incredible joy and a deep settled peace within.
  
    God's been showing me that I have a lot I can learn from my brothers & sisters in Christ all around the world, no matter the denomination, no matter what they may look like on the outside. That no matter if you wear a veil on your head, a scarf, a covering, have your hair dyed orange, wear skinny jeans or suspenders, [just to name a few] if you're following Christ & filled with His Spirit than you're my brothers & sisters in Christ. Together we are His children and adopted into His family. How amazing & wonderful is that? That each one of us, no matter our story, are still loved by God. What a gift, and what a reason to celebrate! =)

       If you were ever the recipient of my judgmental spirit. I am sorry. I hope you can forgive me. By God's grace, strength, & help I long to keep learning what it's like to love with out judging. To accept without condemning. To embrace without holding back. Because in reality we're all the same, we're all in need of a Savior. It's only by God's grace that I am who I am. If you somehow made sense of all these ramblings, go you! Blessings on each one of you, may you know the gift of God's sufficient grace deep within.     Til next time, God's Rhonda 

Choose LIFE.

A Story of God's Grace & Rhonda's Redemption.

       Not sure where to start this, because it's all so intertwangled.  Maybe at the most important place and that is GOD and His power that saved my life, not once but many times. Especially this past winter. Some of you already know this, and some of you have no clue. This past fall/winter I walked through some of the darkest days of my life's journey so far. I hope & pray I never have to go through some of those “dark” days again. Even though it didn't feel like it at the time, I can look back now and see that GOD was with me through it all. Though during those days I didn't believe that GOD could ever love me again. I thought I was too far gone. I was wondering if I would ever experience His love & presence again. If His light would ever shine in my eyes, if I would know His forgiveness. I had before, and I knew what I was missing. I think that was the hardest part. Being “so far away” from GOD and not knowing how I could ever return to the deep & close relationship with Him that I once had. It felt like I was at the very end of a rope, hanging over a dark black pit. The LIGHT was so far up and so far away I knew there was no way I could ever get there on my own. I cried out to GOD and yet it seemed like there was no answer. I was desperate. I was a broken, hurting, and weeping mess. My worth, belonging and competence level was pretty much at a zero. I knew I was hurting those around me because of my pain, but I didn't know what to do about it. The memories and intense moments of feeling deep pain were overwhelming. I tried hard to hide my tears. To shield those around me from what was really going on inside of me. In my opinion I was too much, and yet not enough. The countless tears I cried in those months were at that time to me shameful. 
     Going back and reading my journal just gives a witness to my heart of how good God is and makes me rejoice of how that pain isn't felt anymore. Not like that. Now it's seen in the LIGHT. It's like I'm at the top with Him looking back at the darkness that He brought me out of. Here's an exert from my journal to give you a “window” into my heart during that time. 

“I feel like the wounded at an accident seen. Not many want to see and those who do turn away. Only a few people are willing to help. They can do CPR for which I am thankful. Ultimately my life and healing are in God's hands.”

“I'm not sure I even know what it's like to belong. I've always been the strange, different and weird one. Just never did quite fit in. The few times I did belong I didn't know what to do with it. The times when I was actually wanted I had a hard time believing them. Why would anybody want me? I don't even like myself.”

         Yeah.. reading over that now is just like. Wow. Yet then it was so real. It was how I perceived life. How I perceived myself. Sadly it was how I perceived GOD. That He didn't want me, that I didn't have a place of belonging in Him, that I was too messy for even Him. LIES. I know that now, but I couldn't see it then. Satan had those lies tangled around me like a big old web and I didn't see any way out. I had forgotten that the TRUTH sets you free. I was letting those lies define me instead of GOD. The battle for my soul was so intense during those months that I could literally feel it at times. One day that battle became more real than ever before. I don't know the date. I just remember the moment. For some reason I was up on 3rd in our apartment. I don't remember why I was up there or what I was doing.  Satan “whispered” in my head. “You could just take all those pills [the ones I never took after my surgery] and end it all.” The desire to give in got so intense that I went and got a chair, took them off my shelf and flushed them down the toilet. I threw the container away and never told anyone. [well not for a long time anyways] I just went on living life and never really stopped to think about what had happened that day. Even in counseling we talked about me being suicidal, but for some reason this incident never came to the surface.
      Months went by and I completely forgot about it. Til Training Week of 2016. God in His perfect timing did what I never dreamed He would. I ended up telling not one but two of my friends in the same evening about it. So did not plan to do that, but GOD knew what He was doing. Friday found me at Solo time and here are some exerts from that time.

“I wish I could put into words the way I'm feeling right now. It's so strange almost numb like. I still feel some things, yet other feelings seem to be missing... It's like a piece of me just vanished. Gone. It's like GOD is here, His joy is coming out, but the deep feeling, caring part of me isn't responding.”

Later that night GOD brought me to Himself and the tears just flowed. I wept actually. I laid on the floor sobbing so loudly I was afraid somebody might come running, yet half hoping somebody would so I wouldn't have to be “alone.” When I realized what GOD had done. How He had spared my life. It's only because of Him that I'm still here. I'm so thankful Jesus conquered death and the grave! For His healing and forgiveness in my life. 

                 Here's a poem that GOD gave me during that time.

I Wept

As I sat down to write a letter,
And thank my friend for reaching out to me.
I broke down and I wept and wept,
As I realized how different things might be.

I wouldn't be here to ever write this,
Much less enjoying the beauty of life from GOD.
My name would be carved on a tombstone.
My body would be lying under the sod.

I wept as I thought of all the joys,
I would never have gotten to know.
I cried as I thought of God's mercy to me,
And of how He loves me so!

I wept as I thought of the pain,
That I would have caused those I love.
Most of all the thought I can hardly bear,
Is that I would've missed going to Heaven above.

The battle for my soul was so intense,
But GOD heard my desperate cry.
He reached down and rescued me,
From the pain and that awful lie.

So when you see my smile today,
Hear my laugh and witness the joy in me.
Only GOD could do what's been done.
Bring me back to life, and set me free!

So if you're ever in that deepest, darkest valley,
And you're wondering if life is worth living?
Know that there is healing and hope,
That GOD is still loving, caring, and forgiving.

Don't give in to the lies to end it all.
Choose JESUS, He will give you life.
You are loved more than you know.
For you, JESUS paid the sacrifice.

It's been quite the journey since that week. God used that piece of my story this summer in ways I would've never dreamed. I don't think of the word suicide the same anymore. I now have a desire to share the HOPE of JESUS with those who are in those dark places. I want to “tell the world” that life is worth choosing, life is worth living! They do matter, their life does have a purpose, there is a Truth greater than the lies. When people are struggling, take time to stop and pray with them and carry them to JESUS. Take time to, reach out your arms and let them know you care. Take time to listen, take time to speak life & truth into their lives. Take time to let them know that despite all their tears, fears, & “messiness”, they are still loved by GOD.
        To all of you who are hurting, brokenhearted,  & feeling hopeless. Dear one, don't despair... Jesus cares about you & I've been there too. 
                        til next time & loved by God, 
                                                     Rhonda

Hard Good-byes, Happy Hello's and God's faithfulness through it all!

    I'd like to tell y'all about how good GOD is and all the crazy awesome things I've witnessed and experienced Him do in my life this past week.
    Once upon a time and not long ago... I said "good-bye" to people I loved dearly and the place I had called home for the last 2 years. As we drove out the lane, tears streamed down my face as I waved, hardly being able to believe that it was now my turn to be leaving.
     On the way down towards the airport my friend mentioned how she would love to see a bear. So I whispered a short prayer and went back to the "million" thoughts spinning around in my head. [that kind of thing usually happens to me when I leave one place and journey on to another] A little while later what do you know? There it was... a black bear walking across the road! We got right beside it and got to have a good look at it before it ambled off into the bush. It was the cutest small [not baby] just small bear. Like seriously, I wanted to squish it. :)
     
        Then we get to the 11 and I was getting out my passport when my friend remembered she didn't have hers. [she had completely forgotten] *freak out calmly moment* She's like "We can start praying". So we did.
        Meanwhile being entertained by the most unique construction sign holding lady I have ever seen. She was dancing, smoking her cigarette, walking around and back and forth on the road swinging the sign in all kinds of directions, singing [or at least doing something with her mouth] checking her phone, eating food and so on. I had never seen the likes. [thankfully we had left early to eat supper so the waiting at construction was kind of okay]
        We finally made it to the border. Praying hard by now. We pull into the 1st lane. [he looked like a kind man, but was he?] We get there and she tells him the situation.[gave him my passport and her drivers license] I tell him I'm moving home. He asks a few questions, has us roll the window down, takes a look in the back, goes back in and... not much later tells us we can go. You should've seen the smile on my face, I couldn't contain it. Thank-you GOD!!!
       All that said, I never ate supper but I made it on the plane. :) Then on my 1st flight I looked out and saw the rainbow around the plane's shadow which was awesome.

         Not long later I looked out and what do you know? There was a big circle rainbow in the sky.

[I've wanted to see one of those for awhile and now I have =] 

It was like God was telling me, "I'm with you, I'm taking you home." 

      

 The 2nd flight was delayed,

[the beautiful sunset I witnessed while waiting on the plane til we could take off to the skies]

 but hey we landed in Philly eventually. :) One of my friends picked me up at the at the airport and we talked like non-stop the whole way home. Imagine that ;) 

      It was 2 in the morning til I walked in the door here. I was somewhat awake yet so I promptly got out my wall hanging from Camp and put it up on the wall.

             
            That same day I got to make Dad's birthday cake. [ his favorite, homemade carrot cake with cream cheese frosting =] So we celebrated a few days late, but it was special just the same. :)

As if that wasn't enough for one day, Dad drove home a car that evening from work for me to look at. [someone he knew was selling it] So I went out to look at it. I wasn't real sure about it until I discovered the sunroof. Then I was like ecstatic. You see this summer sometime I  had randomly prayed and asked God to send me a car with a sunroof and had pretty much forgotten about it til now. I was sold. (or maybe I should say the car was ;) I excitedly told my Dad & my family about that and how God had answered my prayer. :) It's nothing fancy, but God sent it to me & I'm so thankful! [It became mine today =]

Road trips here we come. :)

In the last 2 days I have acquired a PA drivers license. got car insurance, purchased a car. [among other things] Yay! for moving from one country to another. The reality that I am now a Pennsylvania girl is slowly starting to sink in.

You see that big red word. Yea, temporary. That's a word I heard a lot this week. A lot of the official stuff I have right now is just that. Temporary. [until the real ones arrive in the mail =] It was like God was reminding me that this isn't Home, [no matter where He takes me, no matter how much I gain or lose of things on this earth,  it's just temporary]  Someday He'll call me HOME and it won't be temporary. :)  When I rest in the fact that these things, they're not mine, they're His. When I surrender my all knowing that my life, it's not mine, it's HIS! When my heart & treasures are found in HIM then there's a peace that the world can't give and the world can't take away!

So before y'all think that these last 5 days or so has been all sunshine & roses, think again. [Although there has been WARM sunshine & I have seen roses =] I just wanted to Praise GOD for His incredible love, goodness, & faithfulness. Yet the battle is still strong, the struggle is still real, but my GOD who is so big, still cares about the small things. [even me =]

Even though I miss BLC and all my dear friends there, it really is good to be home with my family again! When I stop and think, I'm just overwhelmed by how blessed I am!

still learning while on the journey God has me on, the now PA girl :)

"My GOD is so big, so strong & so mighty"

HE really is. I've seen it happen time & time again this summer. The one week I joked that it's a good thing I wasn't wearing socks because God would have knocked them right off. :) [true story] 

I've seen Him do the impossible,

 answer prayer after prayer, 

give strength when I had none left, 

wisdom in knowing how to respond,

 grace when I didn't deserve it,

 Northern Lights dancing across the sky & changing color in July,

 being healed miraculously by God & having so much energy the next day,

 rainbow after rainbow in the sky on a Drama night, 

safety in a fierce thunder storm, 

when He used my story to touch the hearts of others,

 the gift of being able to be a counselor again,

[Muddy Tractor Rides are pretty much the best =]

"If you're a deer and you know it... "

my heart being connected with the beautiful women of God here at BLC,

being a Deer all summer long & all "my" Deer girls,

 just being so full of joy that I felt I could burst,

Learning more of who GOD is and that love is not afraid...

 best of all being able to be loved by GOD & loving Him in return.   

"Our GOD is greater, our GOD is stronger, GOD You are higher than any other, our GOD is Healer awesome in power, our GOD... and if our GOD is for us than who can ever stop us? and if our GOD is with us than what can stand against?"

Continuing on the journey God has for me... soon to no longer be Canadian ='/, God's Rhonda

Twice Loved.

                             My Daddy's Love.

         To be honest there's moments when I feel guilty for having been blessed with such a wonderful Dad. Why me? How was I the “lucky” one? Yet I know without a shadow of a doubt I wouldn't be the woman I am today if it wasn't for the way God used (and continues to use) my Dad to touch my heart and life. Growing up I was always “Daddy's girl.” I loved going to work with him and just spending time with him for that matter.  My favorite part of the day was when he came home and we'd  [my sisters & I] meet him out by the lane and get a ride in on the back of his little ole blue pick up truck. Doll strollers, doll babies, and all. :) Has he always loved me perfectly? Certainly not. Yet He has given me a picture of and has shown me my Heavenly Father's love time and time again. He's the only earthly man who hasn't walked in and out of my life. He's prayed for me more than I'll ever know. The time he has spent down on his knees has not been in vain. One of my favorite child hood memories is when I would wake up early and go out and find my Dad on his knees talking to God. I hope and pray that I can be a woman who seeks God's face the way my Daddy does. His story isn't an easy one, it's one that as I keep learning new pieces of it makes my heart want to cry and my admiration for what he's allowed God to do in his life grows even more.  I know I can't thank God enough for the gift He has given me by giving me the earthly Dad He has. He does so well with loving God, his wife, and his 4 daughters. Someone told me when they were at their house how she loved seeing his face light up as each one of his girls came downstairs. How special is that?  He even still opens the car door for my Mom. [Go Dad!]  Does he get everything right? Not near, but he's gotten the important things right and for that I am so grateful. He's worked hard for years to provide for his family. When he made a promise to my Mom to love her even in good and the hard times, in sickness and in health, he's done so. His journey has been a really hard one at times, yet he remains faithful to God and his family.  There's tears streaming down my face as I'm writing this. What did I do to deserve such love like this? Nothing, yet just like my Heavenly Father's love it's been given to me time and time again even when I'm not very lovable. Yesterday when the picture of my Dad, my sister and I appeared on Facebook, I all of a sudden just really missed them both and would love to just go back and do that day over again. Living far away from my Dad has taught me a lot and has made me appreciate him all the more. He never made me feel less than because I was a girl. He's given me the gift of his trust and his support. He's taught me so many things and the list goes on. Yet the thing I treasure the most is how he has taught me about God, His truth, and the gift of knowing Jesus as my Savior. I have the joy of being able be his daughter, to call him Dad, and for that I thank God, but not nearly as often as I should.

         I know many people out there don't have a Dad who spends time with them the way mine does with me, who invests into their life the way mine does, and my heart breaks for you. I wish you could know an earthly Dad's love the way I do. Yet I want you to know that you do have Someone who loves you far greater than any Dad ever could. That's something I need to remember. Yes, my Dad means a lot to me, but he isn't the answer to my deepest needs. Only Jesus can meet those needs. My Dad can't always be there for me, but my Jesus is and always will be. I have the gift of having a Dad who delights in me, yet I have a Heavenly Father who delights in me and the heart He's given me beyond my wildest dreams. His love by far trumps that of my earthly Dad's. His love is perfect. With my Dad I feel safe, yet with God I am safe anytime and anyplace. God's arms are the only place that I can truly be held, though there are days when I really wish for a hug from my Dad. Thankfully God gives the best hugs of all!

          To those of you who have been blessed with a wonderful Dad, let him know, and don't take him for granted.  To those of you out there who I know have lots of pain from your Dad may you allow God to bring healing to those hurts. May you be given the grace to love & forgive him despite what all you've experienced from the hands and words of your earthly Dad. To those of you whose Dad's are no longer on this earth, may you feel your Heavenly Father's arms holding you ever so tight.
   
           To all of you Dad's out there. Keep on loving God and your families. What you do matters. It does make a difference. Who knows? Maybe someday 20 some years from now you'll have children who will love God, and love & respect you as much as I do my Dad now. To all of those who dream of being a Dad someday, you can start now by spending time on your knees talking with the One who is the best Father of all.

         Someday when I get to Heaven I want to sit on God's lap and thank Him for the gift of being loved twice. First of all by Him and second of all by my Dad.


                                          A daughter of God & her Daddy's girl, Rhonda

Where could I go (run) but to the LORD?

   I enjoy running.[those of you who know me well probably just nodded your head in agreement =] I'm NOT a long distance runner, but when I'm going somewhere it's usually well you guessed it, I'm running. Which I am so thankful that God in His goodness allowed me the gift of being able to run again! The other week one of the guests here told me, that she & her husband called me "the runner". That brought a smile to my face & my heart.

   Lately though I've been running inside. Running from things & people. Running because that's what I've been doing ever since I was a little girl to escape the things I don't know how to face. Running from pain. Running from loss. Just running. Running because I'm scared to take off my masks and let people see who I really am. Usually I find myself running to GOD & clinging desperately to Him, but as good as that is I'm realizing that sometimes I need to stop running. Or at least stop running away & start running with Him, [..they shall run and not grow weary Isaiah 41:30] because running away is exhausting. It leaves me gasping for air, longing for strength, and drains the very life out of me. It leaves me wanting, and it leaves me confused. Part of me longs for surrender to just give in, and the other part of me is scared of what that might look like. Can I trust GOD enough to take care of the pieces of my heart that I'm going to lose? Will I trust Him enough to stop running from the pain, allow Jesus to touch it and exchange my deepest pain for His greatest joy?

Here is on of my favorite Corrie Ten Boom quotes: because well, it's been such a part of the story God has written for me.

  "Do you know what hurts so very much? It's love. Love is the strongest force in the world, and when it is blocked that means pain. There are two things we can do when this happens. We can kill that love so that it stops hurting. But then of course part of us dies, too. Or we can ask God to open up another route for that love to travel.”

   I've realized that in my running I've been trying to deny the pain. In my running I can't rest. Yet when I remember the truth that I can't outrun GOD's arms of love, it makes me want to stop running and just be. Just be His. When I know & believe that NOTHING can take His love away, and that I am righteous because He made me so, it's NOTHING short of amazing! His grace is enough, even for me "the runner". 

      So go ahead put on your running shoes =) [or maybe if you're like me you need to take them off] & may the only place you run be into HIS arms to experience more of who HE is. In HIM you are free!

       Switching gears: I can hardly fathom that it's June [ALREADY!] So I'll leave you with a few pictures to give you a glimpse of that last few months of my life. =)
   
                                                      *one, two, three, ACTION!*

GOD keeps His promises. 

[rainbow in Sandy Lake]

*sometimes dreams come true*

With Sarah, my co-back seat rider & friend! :)

I like flying. A LOT! 

In Round Lake I learned how to fillet walleye. [fun stuff =]

I have yet to catch one.

My last Youth Retreat has come & gone ;'(

Proof that we were all together :) May was definitely a memorable month!

The Heavens declare YOU are GOD.

I'll close with a picture of my "favorite" lake. 

til next time, God's Rhonda

"Honestly it's time for Honesty..."

    Sometimes I wonder... why God has us walk through what seems like the darkest valley, climb what feels like an endless mountain, fight a fierce and raging battle, go through things that leave our hearts so wounded and bleeding that we almost lose hope. Love. It's because He loves. I didn't always see it that way when the days seemed dark, when the sunshine was gone, and I was beginning to give in instead of keeping on. I see it now though. He loves us enough to take us to the place that the only place where we can learn to live again is in Him. In His love. 
     Now that I've come to the place of deciding that being where He is, is the only place worth living, the journey is still hard at times, but so much sweeter. Did I know all this before? Yes, indeed. Yet I slowly drifted away from His love. I slowly allowed the lies of the Enemy to invade my thoughts and control what I did. I allowed the voices of those around me to be louder than the voice of the One who knows me best and loves me most. I chose wrong and because of that I hurt those around me. It all happened like that song, "It's a slow fade...".  It's not like I woke up  one morning and was like "I'm going to listen to the people around me, live in fear, and be a slave to sin instead of living as a child loved by God." Nope. Of course not. Sometime along the way I slowly stopped believing the Truth and even though I may have appeared to have it all together on the outside [like that really matters anyways] inside I was believing lies. That is wrong. It is sin and because of that sin in my life the Light wasn't there. Without Light how can Love grow? So my life became a dark and miserable place to be. Yet when we desire Truth God doesn't leave us in the dark. He comes and He shines His light to reveal the wrongs He wants to make right. The wounds and fears that He wants to heal with Love. That is why I am so thankful for a loving Heavenly Father who allows His wayward children to come back Home. I've learned that our ways are not God's ways again & again. I've learned that love really does exist. I've learned that God can change my way of thinking. Hallelu! I've learned that I am weak, and that only God is the One who can meet my deepest needs. That humility is a willingness to be known who I really am. Best of all that Love won. It won that day on Calvary and it wins again today in my heart. I pray that you will know what it's like to abide in God's love as well, there's no better place to be. 

                 This song is my heart's anthem right now...

“There's a brand new love
 in this old heart of mine,
 took a lot of healing LORD, 
     took a little time, 
now the clouds roll away
and the sun's gonna shine!”

Take heart. 
Wherever ever you are, whatever you are facing, God's love is still real, His arms are still open, and He still cares about you!  You can trust Him.    

"Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us.
 For I am persuaded that, neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor power, nor things present, nor things to come, 
 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus."
                                                    Romans 8:37-39

 til next time, God's Canada girl

Glory be to GOD...

                                              Christmas in Cambodia

Once upon a summer, I had a dream to go spend Christmas with my sister in Cambodia. [that was almost a year & a half ago] That's all it was... a dream. Then this summer, Lori and I bought tickets and that dream became a little more real. Then what do you know that long anticipated day finally arrived and I boarded the 1st of 3 planes that would bring me closer to the dream becoming reality. On the night of Dec. 17th we landed in the city of Phnom Pehn, Cambodia. [here at last] The next 12 days were the best 12 days of 2015! I will always treasure the time God gave me to spend with my sister, for the opportunity to experience her world and being able to meet her team. Since pictures are worth a thousand words... here you go!! 
                                        And so the trip begins... I've always enjoyed flying and this time was no different. :)

Reunited. The smiles say it all!

My sister has crazy [ in a good way ] moto driving skills. Which I learned to enjoy greatly as the rider. :)

Nothing like going to church on a moto & wearing flip-flops. :)

Christmas cookies were a fun activity... I mainly held the baby :) while the rest put their decorating skills to work.

Christmas didn't really feel like Christmas, but it was still a really special time.

Christmas Night with these people was epic. Definitely was a night I won't forget. =)

& the sunshine. Ah, that did my heart a world of good. The last weekend we headed down to the ocean. Which was Chelle's gift to me. Pretty much the best gift. hands down!

 We rented a moto and had a grand time exploring the town & country side. :)

Yes, this is squid. & yes, I ate it. [well most of it]

All too quickly it came time to say good-bye, but it was an experience I'll treasure forever. 

Hope you enjoyed a glimpse into my adventure. & Thank-you to all who prayed! & If God brings me to mind you can pray that I'll feel better soon. I came home & promptly got sick. [better here than there] but it's still not so fun. I'm at least well enough to keep living life, just not at 100%. May God bless you wherever you find yourself today.. til next time, God's globetrotter girl :)