If you would have asked me awhile ago, if I believed that I thought I was better than other people I probably would have told you "no." Not knowing the hidden lies I believed.
"But if ye have respect to persons, ye commit sin, and are convinced of the law as transgressors." James 3:9
"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:28
God's been hammering those words into my heart, and opening my eyes to see how much of respecting of persons I've been doing. He's been revealing to me the awfulness of the judgmental spirit I had buried deep within. Unknowingly, even though I never meant it & usually didn't feel that way, I somehow still thought that I was "a little bit better" because of the way I was raised. That the Mennonite Culture I grew up most of my life in, somehow made me special. That the bubble I was living in somehow made me "holier". That my brothers & sisters in Christ outside of what I knew as "right" were somehow missing out or may I dare say it, not as righteous. I was wrong. So WRONG. Maybe just maybe I've missed out on living by faith, because I've been saturated in a "work hard, provide for yourself culture" maybe I don't really know what it means to live in God's grace because my filter system is tainted with legalism instead of the power of the Gospel. Or that my self-righteousness has left me living in filthy rags, when JESUS already has made me clean & longs to clothe me with His righteousness. That just because people around me have higher or lower standards than me, that doesn't make them any less or any more valuable. Or that my acceptance of them should depend on their outward appearance or actions. [wrong again]
Also how I've let the fear of man hold me back from living my life for God alone. Once I stop caring about what others think, or if their opinions of me may change because of the choices I make while doing what I sense is what God is asking/leading me to do, than I can live in the freedom of who He says I am. Than I can follow Him with my whole heart, because in the end it's only His will being done in my life & bringing Him glory that matters. [not performing for those around me] I think I'm slowly learning, that when I stop being a worrier and start being a worshiper of the One who gives me life, there's incredible joy and a deep settled peace within.
God's been showing me that I have a lot I can learn from my brothers & sisters in Christ all around the world, no matter the denomination, no matter what they may look like on the outside. That no matter if you wear a veil on your head, a scarf, a covering, have your hair dyed orange, wear skinny jeans or suspenders, [just to name a few] if you're following Christ & filled with His Spirit than you're my brothers & sisters in Christ. Together we are His children and adopted into His family. How amazing & wonderful is that? That each one of us, no matter our story, are still loved by God. What a gift, and what a reason to celebrate! =)
If you were ever the recipient of my judgmental spirit. I am sorry. I hope you can forgive me. By God's grace, strength, & help I long to keep learning what it's like to love with out judging. To accept without condemning. To embrace without holding back. Because in reality we're all the same, we're all in need of a Savior. It's only by God's grace that I am who I am. If you somehow made sense of all these ramblings, go you! Blessings on each one of you, may you know the gift of God's sufficient grace deep within. Til next time, God's Rhonda
