Learning to trust God more...

This weekend has been such a blessing... God has spoken in so many ways. It was things I so desperately needed to hear & be reminded of.  Oh, the importance of trusting God's heart and learning to just live one day at time, knowing He will give grace for each moment.

Here's something I wrote sometime ago, but fits some of my story at the moment.

So I’m sure many of you out there sometimes wonder about why things are the way they are…or why is there so much pain? So many tears? So much hurt? Relationships that fall apart & why do things need to change? I know have asked these questions [lots of times].

Are there answers? Sometimes, but I think a lot of times we just need to take all those questions, all that pain, and leave them in God’s hands. One thing someone told me a couple of years ago and it’s always stuck with me is this. No matter how much pain, how deep the hurt, how hard the tears fall,  how bad your heart breaks, or how upside down your world becomes. GOD is still good. He is and always will be good.

Does that mean we don’t ask the questions or wonder why? No, we can, but we need to take them to the One who knows it all. The One whose way is perfect. The One who has a reason for everything, even when we can’t see it. God’s ways are far greater, higher, and better than ours. We just need to trust HIM. Yes, I said trust. Why that is so hard, I don’t know. It’s something I learn over and over again. Why is it so hard to trust the One who made us, the One who gives us life.? I’m pretty sure it comes down to these two words… control & surrender. We have to let go of what we want, in order to trust what He has for us. It’s so hard to relinquish the dreams we’ve held onto, the anger we feel we have a right to, the plans we want to see happen, the things we think we deserve, the prayers we want answered, yet GOD has more in store for us than we could ever imagine. [In reality our lives aren't about us anyway] So why do we hang on so tightly to what we want? What we think is best? Why don’t we let go of our “filthy rags” in exchange for the beauty of the righteousness of GOD? I’m not sure. Maybe because surrender can be so hard, but it is so so worth it. There is beauty, peace, & freedom in surrender. Complete surrender to the One who loves us the most.

So all those questions you have that are burning inside of you… ask them, take them, surrender them, leave them, with the One who knows best. Oh, and when you think of all what God has done, take time to thank HIM. =] 

& thank you to each of you who are praying! Those prayers make a difference.      

                                  [God's now Canadian girl =]

My Abba Father's smile...

  These past couple of days have been really special. Time & time again it felt like God was just smiling down and I saw Him answer prayer in so many ways.  I felt His love through the dear family & friends He allowed me to see, make memories, & reconnect with. 
  This Sunday was my commissioning and we were able to have my Grandparents, my Aunt Carolyn, our neighbor lady & friend Penny, her two grandsons, & another neighbor Donna over for lunch. We had a wonderful time.

Monday was definitely one of the best Mondays ever. [true story] We started out the morning doing a family photo shoot & what fun we had! Lots of laughter & well smiles of course. More than that it was making memories as a family! I don't have those pictures, but most of y'all will see them in the future. =)

Then in the afternoon I got to milk cows with my childhood bestie & amazing friend. [milking cows together goes way back for us two =] Tis so much fun... I don't think I had milked since I was 17, so it was about time that I was in the barn again. =]

Then I ended the evening by meeting one of my dearest friends half-way. We sat & talked for hours and ended our time together with prayer. It did my heart a world of good... I'm so thankful that 4 years ago God let our paths cross. She blesses my life in so many ways.

Tuesday... My DE family [minus the Dad] & my 3 students came to visit. We had a grand time! The girls hit it off with my sister. They were just laughing & having fun all day long. We had lunch outside & it was good to sit by the fire & catch up with Cynthia. Also getting to play with Jamie again & be called Iya was so special. My cousin then came later in the afternoon & it was so good to connect with her again as well. It just was a really delightful day!

Then today God worked it out that I could meet with my friend Hannah for lunch. :) It was good to see her again & to [once again] catch up on life. So thankful for the friends God has blessed me with.

And now it's the evening before my last day at home for awhile. God is & has been so good. It's hard to believe that tomorrow is the last day that my whole family will be together for a long time. [unless God has other plans] So it's with bittersweet emotions that I look forward to tomorrow. I know God is at work, I know His will is the best place to be, [& I am excited about that] yet it's going to be hard to say good-bye. So if you think of my family & I tomorrow... whisper a prayer. 

until next time... [God's almost Canadian girl =]

   

They say home is where the heart is, which I guess is true. Though it’s so hard when home is here and home is there and your heart is in so many places. It’s hard to put into words how it feels to have your heart in so many pieces, to always be missing home. To miss people on the other side of the ocean. To long to feel the warm African breezes and see the smiling faces of the people you love. To return to the beautiful South and all my friends and family there. To miss my students in DE who wiggled their way deep into my heart. To miss the North, all its serene beauty, and the dear people whom my heart loves. To know that I’ll soon miss my family, knowing that we’ll soon be miles apart, and a sister on the other side of the world. My heart sometimes feels like it’s being squeezed, put through a shredder, and on a wild roller coaster ride all at the same time. No, I wouldn’t trade my nomadness, but it does come with a price. I love going new places, new adventures, new friends, learning new things,  most of all I love being a servant of Jesus, following Him, experiencing Him more, knowing more of His love & grace, and the opportunity to love His children. The hardest part of loving is that in the midst of the beauty there’s also pain. In the midst of the good there’s also heartache. It’s kind of like a rainbow in the midst of a storm. Sometimes I wonder if my heart could get any bigger, if it’s possible to love more people, to love so deep again, to truly care, to have my heart connect with others, yet somehow Jesus comes and I do. I love again, I hurt again, I cry again, I say good-bye [again], I care again, I lose pieces of my heart again, or maybe I should say Jesus does all those things. He loves through me, He cares through me, He takes those pieces of my heart and gives them to others. It makes me miss Heaven more and more. I can’t wait til the day when I will finally be HOME. When I’ll be with my Jesus & Redeemer. My heart will be whole, my body healed, no more good-byes, [ever], no more heart wrenching experiences, no more tears, and forever love. :)  In the midst of this all it’s easy to let myself get caught up in myself, but what I really want is…  to be caught up in Jesus. Caught up in doing the will of my Abba Father, letting my heart beat with His. Knowing that He’s here in the midst of all this change, and He’s holding all those pieces of my heart. I long to just trust Him completely, rest in Him fully, believe in Him truly, follow Him devotedly, serve Him whole heartedly, seek Him earnestly, love Him undividedly, listen to Him closely, praise Him enthusiastically,  worship Him only, thank Him continually, love His children deeply, knowing His way is perfect.

   In all honesty I’m super excited about following God to Canada & being able to call this beautiful place “home”. Not because it’s my dream, but because it’s His. 

 

 

I know they’ll be mountains that He’ll ask me to climb, valleys that He’ll walk me through, and rivers that He’ll want me to cross, but I know He will always be good, He will always be faithful. So if you’re walking through a valley, or that mountain you’re climbing is just so high, know that God is there, He cares, He’s walking with you, you’re not alone. May He be the One that brings joy to your soul and hope to your heart.

P.S. This soon to be Canadian girl can’t wait for the adventures with God & His people in the North.     [true story =]